Politics
After Promising Energy Dominance, White House Plan To Fix Diesel Is To Change Its Color
By Mor Michael, . BSN Network. Satire.
The Trump administration, which came to office promising to dominate the global energy supply so completely that other countries would feel embarrassed about having oil, is currently evaluating whether the color of diesel is the problem.
According to people familiar with the deliberations, White House officials have been weighing a range of measures to bring down diesel prices, including suspending the federal fuel tax and lifting restrictions on red-dyed diesel, a variety of the fuel that is chemically identical to regular diesel but tinted red and legally restricted to off-road use, meaning tractors, generators, and the kind of equipment that does not have to stop at a weigh station.
The proposal, as it has been described, would allow that red diesel to be sold at ordinary gas stations, to ordinary drivers, in ordinary trucks, on the theory that the fuel being a different color has, until now, been the main structural barrier to American energy independence.
Energy Secretary Chris Wright told reporters Thursday that the administration was committed to "every available tool" and that the situation called for urgency. He did not specify whether the urgency was about diesel prices or about the meeting running long.
"The American people need relief at the pump," Wright said, "and the President has made clear he will not take any option off the table, including options that are already on every other table, like not collecting a tax."
The federal diesel tax is 24.4 cents per gallon. Suspending it would cost approximately ten billion dollars a year in highway funding and save the average long-haul trucker, by the administration's own estimates, roughly the price of lunch.
The red diesel provision is the more operationally interesting proposal. To sell farm fuel at public pumps, the government would need to either lift the dye requirement or require stations to install separate tanks, separate nozzles, and separate signage explaining to drivers that they are, for legal purposes, temporarily a tractor.
One logistics industry consultant, who asked not to be named because he still has meetings scheduled with the Department of Energy, described the red diesel idea as "not crazy, technically," before pausing for what witnesses described as a long time and then saying he needed to check something.
The administration has not announced a timeline, a preferred option, or a position on whether the red dye would need to be removed or whether Americans would simply be asked to accept that their truck now runs on something that looks like cough syrup.
Diesel is currently trading above four dollars per gallon in several regions, driven by refinery constraints, export demand, and the cost of pretending the supply chain fixed itself two years ago.
The White House has not ruled out additional measures. A source described the broader conversation as "ongoing" and said officials were also looking at regulatory relief, though the source could not confirm what regulations, or what relief, or whether the meeting was still scheduled.
The farm equipment is unavailable for comment but understood to be fine.
The story we are making fun of: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2026-09-25/white-house-mulls-range-of-options-to-lower-soaring-diesel-costs