Politics
America Showed China Its Founding Documents To Explain Why It Has Been Ignoring Them
By Mor Michael, . BSN Network. Satire.
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump confirmed Thursday that he and Chinese President Xi Jinping will hold two additional meetings, one in Beijing and one at Mar-a-Lago, after concluding what the White House described as a "historic and productive" visit that included a state dinner, a guided tour of the National Archives, and what sources described as a very long tea.
Xi arrived Wednesday to a red carpet reception on the tarmac, his first official state visit to the United States since the Obama administration, a fact Trump mentioned four times before lunch.
The final day of the visit included a stop at the National Archives, where the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights are displayed in argon-filled cases specifically designed to outlast the governments that produced them.
Trump, who served as tour guide for approximately eleven minutes before handing off to a National Archives docent, reportedly gestured at the First Amendment and told Xi it was "very beautiful, very old, very important."
Asked by reporters what Xi made of the documents, a White House spokesperson said the Chinese president found them "interesting from a historical perspective," which is the diplomatic equivalent of calling someone's apartment cozy.
The two leaders also discussed Iran, which Trump confirmed without additional detail, saying only that they "talked about it" and that Xi was "very understanding." When pressed on what, specifically, Xi understood, Trump said: "Everything. He understood everything. He's a very smart guy."
The discussions produced no formal joint statement, no signed agreement, and no communique, which senior officials characterized as a sign of how comfortable the relationship had become, and which everyone else characterized as a sign that nothing was agreed.
Trump announced the two future meetings unprompted, describing them as his idea. Xi's office has not confirmed the Florida date, which would make Xi the third foreign leader this year invited to Mar-a-Lago and the first one whose country holds approximately $760 billion in U.S. Treasury securities.
Senator Mitch McConnell declined to comment. Senator Marco Rubio, now serving as Secretary of State, issued a statement praising the talks as "a demonstration of American strength and diplomatic leadership," which he filed approximately four minutes after the White House released its own version of the same sentence.
Progressive advocacy group Democracy Forward called the Archives visit "a stunning act of irony" and demanded a congressional hearing, which was scheduled for mid-October and then rescheduled to accommodate a recess.
Xi Jinping and his wife departed Wednesday evening. The founding documents remain in their cases, undamaged, which is more than can be said for the precedent.
The story we are making fun of: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/live/2026/sep/25/trump-xi-summit-national-archives-media-politics-live