Politics
Federal Government Kills Two Citizens At Immigration Raid And Calls It A Branding Problem
By Mor Michael, . BSN Network. Satire.
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump administration announced this week that its mass deportation campaign has entered a more mature phase, defined by record-setting arrest numbers, fewer press opportunities, and what one senior official described as a more professional presentation going forward.
The pivot follows the January killings of Alex Pretti and Renee Good, US citizens shot dead by federal agents in Minneapolis during the largest immigration enforcement operation in the country's history, an event the administration's internal review characterized as a momentum challenge.
For roughly the first six months of the second term, ICE operations were conducted in a style best described as a military parade that arrests people. Columns of masked, armored agents descended on Los Angeles, Chicago, Charlotte, New Orleans and Minneapolis, swept through Home Depot parking lots at dawn, zip-tied day laborers in front of their children, and deployed chemical spray against crowds that showed up to film it. The imagery was everywhere. That, officials concluded, was the problem.
"We have always been committed to lawful, effective enforcement," said Department of Homeland Security spokesperson Brad Tillman, at a press conference he described as intentionally brief. "What we're doing now is simply executing that mission without the theater elements that were generating unnecessary friction with certain segments of the population." He then declined to specify which segments, gestured at his own bullet points, and left.
The record numbers are real. Immigration attorneys and advocacy groups confirm that more people are being detained and removed per week now than at any point during the first wave of raids, which attracted network cameras and counter-protesters in equal measure. The difference is that the current operations tend to happen at 4 a.m., in neighborhoods without established protest infrastructure, using plainclothes agents and rental vehicles rather than armored federal convoys. Less theater. Same ending.
Donald Trump, who had spent the early months of his second term treating immigration enforcement as a spectator sport, hosting watch parties at Mar-a-Lago for footage of agents sweeping through cities he did not vote for, was reportedly briefed that public support for the program had dropped seventeen points following Minneapolis. He described this as "fake polling" and then approved the tactical adjustment the same afternoon.
The administration's current position is that shooting two citizens at a raid was a learning experience, the program is working better than ever, and the people asking follow-up questions about the first part are the reason the second part now happens where they cannot find it.
Congress has not held a hearing on the Minneapolis killings. Several members have requested one. The requests are currently being processed, which is the federal government's word for stored.
Deportation flights are departing daily. The passenger manifests are not public. The destinations vary. The administration calls this efficiency.
Somebody in Minneapolis called it something else, but they are not a senator, so it did not slow anything down.
The story we are making fun of: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/sep/30/immigration-tactics-detention-approach