Politics
Jack Smith Subpoenaed Half The Room And Still Had To Ask Permission To Use The Bathroom
By Sean Vanity, . BSN Network. Satire.
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Former Special Counsel Jack Smith returned to Capitol Hill Tuesday for a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing formally titled "Oversight of Jack Smith's Abuse of Power," which is a thing a committee can name itself now, apparently, and which will appear in the official federal record alongside the Civil Rights Act and the declaration of war on Japan.
The hearing, chaired by Sen. Chuck Grassley of Iowa, a man who has been in the Senate since the discovery of penicillin, convened at 10 a.m. to examine whether Smith's two-year investigation into Donald Trump constituted prosecutorial overreach, a term that Republicans are using and Democrats are describing as "accountability theater," and both of them are right.
Smith, who during his tenure as Special Counsel issued subpoenas for the private communications of multiple Republican lawmakers, sat at the witness table approximately twelve feet from several of those same lawmakers, who had printed out their own text messages and brought them as props.
Sen. Lindsey Graham, one of the lawmakers whose records Smith had sought, spent eleven minutes asking Smith whether he thought that was appropriate. Smith said he believed the subpoenas were legally justified. Graham said he disagreed. This continued.
Sen. Ted Cruz, who was not subpoenaed but felt strongly about it anyway, asked Smith whether he had ever personally read the Constitution. Smith said he had. Cruz asked if he was sure. The exchange lasted four minutes.
At the 90-minute mark, Smith requested a brief recess. Grassley said they would take five minutes. This is the correct legal description of a man who investigated the sitting president of the United States being told when he can use the bathroom by a 91-year-old from Iowa, and it is genuinely difficult to say who won.
"Jack Smith represents the weaponization of the justice system against a duly elected president and against the constitutional rights of every senator in this room," Grassley said in his opening statement, which he read from a printed sheet, slowly, while staff members at the back of the room stared at their phones.
Smith, for his part, said in prepared remarks that his investigation was conducted "by the book, consistent with Justice Department policy, and without political motivation," which is the kind of sentence that sounds completely reasonable and that absolutely nobody in that room believed, including some of the people who believe he is telling the truth.
The investigation produced two indictments of Donald Trump. Trump won the 2024 election. Smith resigned before the inauguration. The indictments were dropped. The Senate is now holding a hearing about the indictments that were dropped, about the investigation that produced them, conducted by the man who resigned, in front of the senators whose phones he read.
Democrats on the committee spent their time asking Smith whether he felt the investigation was conducted fairly, which he confirmed, and then asking follow-up questions confirming the same thing, in case anyone in the back had missed it.
Sen. Dick Durbin called the hearing "a political spectacle designed to intimidate future prosecutors." Sen. Grassley called it "basic congressional oversight." Both men have been saying sentences like this since 1997 and neither of them is going to stop.
Smith is expected to return to private life following the hearing. Several senators are expected to post clips of themselves on social media. The Congressional Record will continue to contain the phrase "Oversight of Jack Smith's Abuse" for the remainder of the republic, or until the republic ends, whichever comes first.
Grassley adjourned the hearing at 1:15 p.m. Smith was allowed to leave.
The story we are making fun of: https://www.dailywire.com/news/watch-live-disgraced-jack-smith-faces-lions-den-over-trump-witch-hunt-probe