New York City
New York Spent $112,000 On Emergency Abortion Pills And Threw Them In The Trash
By BSN Staff, . BSN Network. Satire.
ALBANY, N.Y.: The New York State Department of Health announced this week that it will destroy its entire reserve of misoprostol pills, a stockpile of 150,000 tablets purchased in 2023 for $112,000 to ensure reproductive access in the event of federal restrictions on abortion medication.
The pills, enough for 12,500 doses, expired before being used. The Department of Health described the situation as "consistent with the standard lifecycle of a strategic pharmaceutical reserve," which is the sentence a government agency writes when it needs to say "we bought a lot of yogurt and then forgot about it" without saying that.
New York Governor Kathy Hochul championed the original purchase as a landmark act of reproductive preparedness, calling it proof that New York would "never waver" in protecting access to abortion care. The state has not commented on whether "never waver" and "never check the cabinet" are compatible positions.
The misoprostol was stored at a state facility in Albany, where it sat for approximately two years in what officials described as "controlled conditions," which is bureaucratic for "a shelf."
For context, misoprostol has a shelf life of roughly two years under proper storage. New York purchased the pills in 2023. It is now 2025. The math here does not require a public health degree.
Sen. Alessandra Biaggi, who has been a vocal advocate for reproductive rights access in New York, released a statement calling the expired stockpile "a painful reminder that good intentions require follow-through." She did not specify who was supposed to follow through, or whether that person's job title included the word "refrigerator."
A spokesperson for the Department of Health told reporters the agency is "evaluating options for replenishment," meaning New York may soon spend another $112,000 on pills it will store carefully in the same place for another two years while issuing press releases about its commitment to reproductive justice.
Pharmacists reached for comment noted that most households manage expiration date awareness through a combination of "reading the label" and "occasionally opening the drawer." The state has not indicated whether either technology was deployed.
The pills will be destroyed in accordance with federal pharmaceutical disposal guidelines, a process that costs additional money and generates paperwork, making the total cost of New York's reproductive preparedness program: $112,000 plus disposal fees plus the feelings.
No word yet on whether the state plans to hold a press conference for the trash.
The story we are making fun of: https://gothamist.com/news/new-york-state-stockpiled-abortion-pills-now-theyre-all-expired