Politics
Pete Hegseth Got Fired From Fox News And Is Now Scheduling Televised Executions
By Mor Michael, . BSN Network. Satire.
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced Thursday that the December 3 firing squad execution of Fort Hood shooter Nidal Hasan will be made available for public viewing, confirming on the "Human Events" podcast that he wants Americans to watch a man get shot to death by the government as a lesson about consequences.
Hegseth told host Jack Posobiec, "We'll make sure that people are able to watch it," which is the kind of sentence that sounds like the end of a thriller but was apparently just a Thursday afternoon.
Hasan, who killed 13 people and wounded dozens more in the 2009 Fort Hood shooting, has been on death row for over a decade. His execution by firing squad is scheduled for December 3. The question of whether Americans should be permitted to watch it was, until this week, not a question anyone had formally answered yes to.
Hegseth, who was dismissed from Fox News in 2023 after what the network described internally as a series of issues with professionalism and alcohol, has found in the Pentagon a venue more tolerant of bold programming decisions.
"He genuinely seems energized by this," said one unnamed defense official, who asked not to be identified because he has a mortgage. "Most secretaries spend their first year on readiness and logistics. Pete's been on three podcasts this week."
The announcement raises a number of questions that Hegseth did not address, including: where the public will watch, whether there will be a pre-execution briefing, who handles the audio, and whether anyone has told the Army that this is now a media event. A Pentagon spokesperson said the department is "working through the details," which is the institutional phrase for "nobody has called facilities yet."
Hegseth framed the public viewing as educational. He said he wanted people to understand the serious consequences of Hasan's actions, which is a coherent thought, delivered by a man who chose to communicate it through a podcast whose previous episode was about the deep state and seed oils.
Legal scholars noted Friday that public executions in the United States have not been a standard practice since 1936, when the last one drew a crowd of approximately 20,000 people to Owensboro, Kentucky, an event historians describe as chaotic and which the state of Kentucky describes as a reason it moved on.
Conservative media praised the announcement. Several commentators called it a return to accountability. One called it "based," a word that has now been applied to both artisanal coffee shops and state-sanctioned firing squads, which probably means it has stopped meaning anything.
Hasan, for his part, has reportedly requested to be martyred, a wish the Pentagon appears to be honoring in front of a live studio audience.
A scheduling conflict with the Army-Navy game has not yet been ruled out.
The story we are making fun of: https://www.dailywire.com/news/fort-hood-terrorists-execution-will-be-public-and-mirror-his-deadly-attack