Absurdity
Mayor Made Orgasm Noises At The Police Gym And The Police Chief Has Notes
By Jeff Garstein, . BSN Network. Satire.
The city of Shoreview, Minnesota, population roughly 27,000, has a mayor, a police chief, and now a federal sexual harassment lawsuit connecting the two in ways the city charter did not anticipate.
Police Chief Eric Ohl filed the suit against Mayor Kim Her this month, alleging a pattern of conduct that began shortly after her election and escalated in ways that his attorney describes as "pervasive" and that most employment lawyers would describe as a full continuing-education curriculum.
Among the specific allegations: Mayor Her touched Chief Ohl's upper thigh during a budget meeting. During that same general period, she compared the size of his penis to that of another officer by name, which raises the question of how that comparison was sourced and whether the second officer is aware he has been cited. She also referred to herself, unprompted and in a professional context, as a MILF, which is a self-designation that has its fans but that most HR departments prefer not to see on a name badge.
The gym incident is addressed separately. According to the lawsuit, Mayor Her made orgasm noises at the Shoreview Police Department gym while Chief Ohl was present. The complaint does not describe what exercise she was performing at the time. The court will presumably get to that.
When Chief Ohl reported the conduct through official channels, the suit alleges, Mayor Her responded by reassigning his responsibilities, excluding him from meetings, and systematically undermining his standing with city staff. This is sometimes called retaliation and is sometimes called a second lawsuit.
Mayor Her has not commented publicly in detail. Her office issued a statement saying she "looks forward to addressing these allegations through the appropriate legal process," which is the sentence every communications consultant keeps loaded in a document called DO NOT OPEN UNTIL NEEDED.
What is remarkable here, setting aside the orgasm noises for a moment, which is harder to do than it sounds, is the venue. The budget meeting. Not a holiday party, not a parking lot, not an after-hours situation with any ambient plausibility. A budget meeting. Someone brought a spreadsheet. Someone else brought an agenda. The mayor, allegedly, brought a comparison of two officers' genitalia and a hand she put on a knee.
Shoreview's city council has not indicated whether it plans to take any action, which is itself a form of action, the same way not answering a smoke alarm is a form of home maintenance.
Chief Ohl is seeking damages for a hostile work environment, retaliation, and what the lawsuit describes as violations of his civil rights. He is also, one imagines, seeking a different job.
The city's insurance carrier has been notified. The budget meeting has not been rescheduled.
The story we are making fun of: https://nypost.com/2026/09/24/us-news/minnesotas-self-described-milf-mayor-sued-by-own-police-chief-over-sexual-harassment-retaliation/