Absurdity
Pastor Objects To Satan Prayer At City Council Making Him The Second Most Interesting Person There
By Michael Yappaport, . BSN Network. Satire.
OTTUMWA, Iowa -- A former city council member in Ottumwa, Iowa addressed the opening prayer at Tuesday's city council meeting by hailing Satan and invoking the "dark father," completing what attendees described as a procedurally normal invocation with one atypical honoree.
The prayer followed standard format: an opening, a period of supplication, a request for guidance, and a closing. The guidance requested was from a figure the rest of the room had not agreed to consult.
"That's not welcome here," announced local pastor Rick Bertram, rising from his seat mid-prayer in a move that made him, technically, the second most assertive person in the room that evening.
Officials confirmed the former council member had been given the floor through the standard public invocation process, which does not currently include a deity verification step. The city of Ottumwa has not announced plans to add one, though several attendees said they assumed one existed.
Bertram told reporters afterward that he felt compelled to stand because someone needed to. This is broadly accurate. The sitting council members remained seated during the invocation, which in Robert's Rules of Order is either neutrality or endorsement depending on who you ask, and nobody is asking.
"We will not be intimidated," Bertram added, though the intimidating party was a former official who had already finished his prayer and sat down.
The former council member, whose name is David Johnson, has not explained what he was hoping the dark father would deliver to the Ottumwa city council or whether the agenda items were within Satan's jurisdiction. Tuesday's meeting was scheduled to cover a drainage easement near the river and an update on the public works equipment fund. Both were tabled.
Local resident Patty Gomez, who attends most council meetings because she has a fence dispute with the city, said she initially thought the prayer was part of a presentation. "I had my notepad out," she said. "I was waiting for the slide deck."
The Ottumwa city council has not issued a formal statement on the incident, which means their official position is either careful deliberation or the same paralysis that got the drainage easement tabled for the third time.
Breitbart covered the story under the headline "Iowa Pastor Stands Up After Former City Council Member Hails Satan in Prayer," which raised several obvious questions that Breitbart did not ask, including how a man got a prayer slot at an Iowa city council meeting and decided this was the venue, and whether the dark father has a position on the equipment fund.
The pastor is fine. The council meeting resumed. The fence is still there.
The story we are making fun of: https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2026/10/08/iowa-pastor-stands-up-after-former-city-council-member-hails-satan-in-prayer-thats-not-welcome-here/