Sports
Stephen Curry Took A Pay Cut So The Warriors Could Feel Good About Themselves
By Michael Yappaport, . BSN Network. Satire.
Stephen Curry, the greatest shooter in the history of professional basketball, agreed Friday to a two-year contract extension worth $116 million, voluntarily accepting less than the maximum the league would have permitted, in what sources close to the situation are describing as a gesture of loyalty and what sources close to reality are describing as a man who just tipped his employer.
The deal, first reported by ESPN's Shams Charania, gives Curry security through the remainder of his career with Golden State, a franchise that responded to this extraordinary act of goodwill by immediately issuing a press release about their own fiscal responsibility.
Let me be very clear about what happened here. A man who redefined the sport, who made every team in the league rebuild their entire offensive philosophy around a skill he invented at scale, looked at the maximum contract the NBA was prepared to hand him and said, "No thank you, I would like somewhat less of that."
The Warriors did not fight for this. They did not squeeze him. Curry walked in and squeezed himself, then handed them the receipt.
Warriors owner Joe Lacob released a statement Friday calling Curry "the heartbeat of this organization and the standard by which all future Warriors will be measured," which is a sentence that costs nothing and saves approximately the difference between $116 million and whatever a max deal would have been.
NBA analysts spent the afternoon describing the move as "team-friendly," which is the sports world's way of saying somebody got a great deal and it was not Curry.
This is the part that nobody is saying out loud. Every other star in this league hires a guy whose entire job is to extract the maximum possible dollar from the franchise. Curry apparently hired a guy whose entire job is to make sure the franchise feels appreciated. That is not an agent. That is a therapist with a briefcase.
The Warriors, for their part, now have cap flexibility, a franchise cornerstone under contract, and the unique moral comfort of having paid the greatest shooter alive something he himself considered fair enough. That is a front office achievement. I am not sure it is an achievement anyone should be proud of.
Forty years of watching this sport and I have never once seen a superstar negotiate against himself and get praised for being selfless about it. We have decided that Curry leaving money behind is noble. Fine. But the Warriors keeping it is equally noble, I assume. They are very noble together. Nobody is holding a parade for the $116 million.
Curry is expected to remain with Golden State through the life of the extension. The Warriors are expected to describe him as priceless at every subsequent press opportunity.
He took less. They kept more. Everybody is calling it a partnership.
The story we are making fun of: https://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/50030670/sources-warriors-curry-reach-2-year-extension-worth-116-million