Politics
Tillis Regrets Hegseth Vote Like A Yelp Reviewer Who Still Left Five Stars
By Mor Michael, . BSN Network. Satire.
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Thom Tillis, Republican of North Carolina, announced this week that confirming Pete Hegseth as Secretary of Defense is his single biggest regret, a designation that required beating out at least eighteen years of Senate votes and whatever happened at the 2021 Republican caucus retreat in Scottsdale.
Hegseth was confirmed in February 2024 by a razor-thin margin, with Tillis voting yes and subsequently appearing on at least three separate television programs to explain that he had done his due diligence, that Hegseth was a serious man, and that concerns about Hegseth's conduct were overblown by a media that simply did not understand the assignment.
Tillis has now called for Hegseth to resign.
The senator's escalating criticism covers Hegseth's handling of classified information, his management of the Pentagon, and the general atmosphere inside the Department of Defense, which sources familiar with the building describe as a working environment where the primary skill required is the ability to look normal in a group photo.
"I think Pete Hegseth needs to step down," Tillis told reporters, deploying the confidence of a man who has just identified a problem he personally installed.
Aides confirmed that the vote cast in February 2024 remains part of the congressional record and will not be amended, expunged, or reclassified as a procedural abstention. The regret is on the senator's side and does not transfer.
Tillis joins a growing number of Senate Republicans who supported Hegseth's confirmation and have since discovered that a person's behavior during a confirmation hearing is not necessarily the ceiling of their behavior. This finding has surprised several members of a body that has been doing confirmation hearings since 1789.
Former Fox News host and current Defense Secretary Hegseth has not responded to Tillis's call for his resignation, which is consistent with how Hegseth has responded to most things that arrive in writing.
Political analysts noted that Tillis faces a reelection race in North Carolina next year and that the timing of his Hegseth regret, arriving fourteen months after the vote and approximately eleven months after it became obvious to most observers that something had gone sideways, reflects a deliberate and carefully calibrated political instinct.
"The senator has always been willing to speak truth to power," a Tillis spokesperson said, "once the power has already fallen down the stairs on its own."
The Defense Department issued a statement describing Hegseth as fully focused on rebuilding military readiness, restoring warrior culture, and not reading Thom Tillis's press releases.
Tillis has not said what his second-biggest regret is. Aides declined to comment, but sources say the list is long and has been organized into a binder.
The story we are making fun of: https://www.newsweek.com/thom-tillis-hegseth-biggest-regret-confirmation-vote-12527006