Politics
Top Conspiracy Investigator Out; Investigation Into Who Got To Him Forming Now
By Mor Michael, . BSN Network. Satire.
Joe DiGenova, the former U.S. Attorney and television legal commentator best known for his confident certainty about things that later turned out to be somewhat less certain, has resigned from the Department of Justice, where he was overseeing what officials had formally titled the "grand conspiracy" investigation into Obama- and Biden-era officials.
He told CBS News he was leaving. He did not elaborate. Somewhere, a PowerPoint titled "The Deep State: Final Proof" is sitting open on a government laptop with no one assigned to it.
DiGenova was brought in by Attorney General Todd Blanche, himself a former defense attorney who successfully argued that his client should be president and is now running the Justice Department for that client, which is either a conflict of interest or a vertical integration success story depending on who you ask.
The grand conspiracy probe, as it was known, was tasked with examining alleged coordination among Obama and Biden administration officials to, in the words of people who believed in it very seriously, do things. Specific things. The kind of things that would, once documented, finally explain everything. DiGenova was the man for that job, having spent the better part of a decade on Fox News explaining that the documentation was basically already there, someone just needed to go get it.
He went to get it. He has now left without it.
Pat Cipollone, former White House counsel and a man whose memoir will be called something like "I Was In The Room And I Am Begging You," declined to comment. Sean Hannity, reached at the belief he has held continuously since 2017, said DiGenova's departure "raises serious questions that frankly the mainstream media refuses to ask," and then asked none of them.
Sources close to DiGenova described his resignation as "voluntary," a word the DOJ press office uses the way a mattress store uses "going out of business."
Conservative commentators online were quick to note that a man hired to investigate a conspiracy resigning suddenly and without explanation is, itself, exactly the kind of thing a conspiracy would do. Several blue-check accounts posted that this proves the probe was getting too close. Too close to what was not specified, but the tone suggested it was very warm.
The investigation will continue under new leadership, according to a DOJ spokesperson, who described the transition as "seamless," which is the word federal agencies use when something has gone visibly wrong and they would like everyone to keep walking.
DiGenova's tenure lasted long enough to produce a name for the investigation, a supervising attorney, and a resignation. Prosecutors familiar with the caseload say the file has been described internally as "active," "ongoing," and "ambitious in scope," which are three ways of saying there is a folder.
AG Blanche has not commented publicly. He is understood to be focused on other priorities, including, per recent reporting, a Justice Department that is currently investigating more former officials than it has prosecutors assigned to investigate them, a ratio several legal experts called "a staffing model" and one called "a vibe."
DiGenova himself, per people who know him, remains convinced that the grand conspiracy exists. He just will not be the one finding it.
Which, if you think about it, is exactly what they would want.
The story we are making fun of: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/joe-digenova-resigns-doj-grand-conspiracy-investigation-trump-obama-biden/