Politics
EPA Replaces Methane Limits With Laminated 'Please Try Not To' Pledge Mailed To Refineries
By Mor Michael, . BSN Network. Satire.
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Environmental Protection Agency announced Wednesday that it will propose rolling back methane regulations governing oil and gas production, replacing a system of mandatory limits and monitoring requirements with what officials described as a more flexible, industry-friendly framework built on self-reporting, good faith, and what one internal document calls "a culture of awareness."
Methane, for those keeping score, is a greenhouse gas roughly eighty times more potent than carbon dioxide over a twenty-year period, a fact the EPA press release did not include but did gesture at obliquely by using the phrase "naturally occurring emissions" three times in four paragraphs.
The rollback targets rules put in place during the Obama administration and tightened under Biden, which required oil and gas companies to detect and repair leaks using specific equipment on specific schedules. The new proposal would give companies more discretion over when, how, and whether to check.
"This is about trusting American energy producers to do the right thing," EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin said in a statement. "We believe in the people who power this country. We believe in their judgment, their integrity, and their deep personal investment in the long-term health of the atmosphere they also breathe."
Zeldin did not address why, if that trust were warranted, the previous rules had existed. He did use the word "burdensome" four times, which is the regulatory agency equivalent of saying "I have said what I came to say."
Under the proposed framework, companies would submit annual self-assessments certifying that they have made reasonable efforts to identify leaks. The form, according to agency materials, is two pages and includes a checkbox labeled "We Take This Seriously" that must be initialed by a company officer.
Industry groups called the announcement a long-overdue correction. The American Petroleum Institute praised the move as a return to "science-based, proportionate oversight," which is a sentence that means nothing but lands softly, which is the point of it.
Environmental groups were less enthusiastic. The Sierra Club described the rollback as "an open invitation to pollute," and three former EPA scientists said in a joint statement that removing the monitoring requirements made it structurally impossible to know whether any company was complying with anything, a point the agency did not dispute so much as decline to discuss.
To be fair, the honor system has a long history of working fine in situations where the parties involved have no financial incentive to cheat and no mechanism to conceal it. The oil and gas sector is not one of those situations, but the principle is the same.
Texas, where a significant portion of the country's methane leaks originate, welcomed the news. Governor Greg Abbott called it "a victory for the hardworking men and women of the energy industry" and did not mention methane by name, which may be a coincidence.
The proposal will go through a public comment period before it can be finalized, during which members of the public are welcome to submit their thoughts to an inbox that is, technically, monitored.
Methane has no comment, but it is currently leaving.
The story we are making fun of: https://thehill.com/newsletters/energy-environment/6135217-trump-administration-epa-proposes-methane-changes/