Culture
Paramount Schedules $111 Billion Merger For October 5, Pencils It In
By Bruno Von Falken, . BSN Network. Satire.
Paramount Global filed documents with the Securities and Exchange Commission on Friday announcing that its board of directors had, on September 25, "determined" several things, which is already a generous word for what the filing then describes.
The $111 billion merger between Paramount Skydance and Warner Bros. Discovery, which would combine two of the largest entertainment conglomerates in American history into one company large enough to disappoint audiences across every known streaming format simultaneously, is not, the company noted, a done deal. The company would, however, like to pencil in October 5.
The filing formally withdrew the listing of Paramount's Class B common stock and announced plans to issue PSKY shareholder warrants tied to the WBD merger on or around that date, assuming the deal closes, which it might, though no one is prepared to say that with any conviction.
David Ellison, who is set to become CEO of the combined entity and who has described the merger as "a historic moment for storytelling," has not yet commented on the SEC's description of that historic moment as one whose timing is "not yet certain." His publicist responded with a statement calling the filing "a standard procedural milestone in a complex transaction," which is the corporate equivalent of texting "leaving now" from your couch.
Warner Bros. Discovery, for its part, has spent the last two years selling off CNN, restructuring its debt, discontinuing Coyote vs. Acme despite completing it, and renaming itself twice, so the company is no stranger to committing to things provisionally and then seeing what happens.
The October 5 date, which falls on a Sunday, has not been explained further. Shareholders who received the warrants in a previous round of filings are being asked to hold them in anticipation of a closing that the company rates somewhere between likely and imaginable.
Analysts at three separate firms upgraded the stock on Friday, citing the filing as evidence of momentum. One described it as "a clear signal of deal certainty." The filing used the words "not yet certain."
Paramount has also voluntarily delisted its Class B common shares ahead of the merger, which is either a confident procedural step or the first move in a hostage negotiation with itself. The Class A shares remain listed. The warrants are real. The merger is scheduled for a Sunday in pencil.
October 6, by contrast, is fully booked.
The story we are making fun of: https://variety.com/2026/film/news/paramount-warner-bros-deal-close-not-yet-certain-warrants-issue-date-1236876018/