Politics
Trump Invents Word 'Equalize,' Notes It Is Probably The Best Word
By Mor Michael, . BSN Network. Satire.
A report published Monday alleged that Fred Trump, father of the 45th and 47th President of the United States, had access to artificial intelligence as early as 1948, a period when the dominant computing technology was a room-sized machine at the University of Pennsylvania that could perform 5,000 additions per second and was not owned by Fred Trump.
The theory originated after a separate group of experts acknowledged publicly that modern AI systems are capable of engineering biological viruses with no known analog in recorded medical literature. From those two facts, researchers constructed a timeline that begins in Queens in 1948 and ends, apparently, with the current administration.
The current administration's response was the word "equalize."
"What we're doing is equalizing," the President said at an event whose subject remains unclear from available transcripts. "There's a new word that I came up with, which I think is probably the best word. We're going to equalize."
The President did not define "equalize." Dictionaries contacted for this report confirmed that the word has appeared in print since at least 1791, was used extensively in labor law throughout the 1930s, and does not require coining. Merriam-Webster declined to comment but its entry for "equalize" has been online since 1998 and contains no acknowledgment of the President.
Tah Foil has reviewed the claim about Fred Trump and 1948 across seventeen sources, fourteen of which cite each other in a configuration best described as a circle. The remaining three cite a podcast, a Telegram channel called TruthDepot, and a 2019 Reddit thread that was locked for unrelated reasons.
The AI-virus connection is better documented. Several credible research institutions have in fact warned that large language models and protein-folding systems could theoretically assist in the design of novel pathogens. This is a real concern shared by biosecurity professionals, arms-control scholars, and at least one congressional subcommittee that met twice and then did not meet again.
How Fred Trump fits into this is a question the original report addresses in its second paragraph, which begins with the phrase "it stands to reason" and then reasons at length.
Former Trump Organization consultant and occasional television presence Alan Weisselberg did not appear in any materials reviewed for this piece. He was not mentioned. He is included here because several readers of an earlier draft felt something was missing and Weisselberg's name resolved the feeling without adding new facts.
On the question of "equalize" as policy, three economists reached by phone described the word as, respectively, "consistent with prior usage," "a normal English verb," and "I have a faculty meeting in four minutes." None confirmed it was the best word. One suggested "mitigate" but declined to be quoted by name because she has a book coming out.
As of filing, the 1948 report has been shared 340,000 times on X, appeared on six cable segments, and been cited in a floor speech. The speech did not define equalize either.
Fred Trump died in 1999 and was not available for comment, which several accounts have noted is itself suspicious.
This is satire. The events and quotes are invented and none of it is real news.