Politics
Amazon Cargo Plane Overshoots Miami Runway With Two-Day Delivery Still Guaranteed
By BSN Staff, . BSN Network. Satire.
MIAMI, FL. An Amazon Air cargo plane overran the runway at Miami International Airport on Thursday, killing five people and injuring five others, in what aviation officials are calling one of the deadliest cargo incidents at the airport in recent memory and what Amazon is calling a situation they are "monitoring closely with great care for all stakeholders."
The plane, which was carrying an unspecified volume of freight described by sources as "mostly stuff people ordered at 11pm on a Tuesday," failed to stop within the runway's designated stopping area, which experts note is the single most important part of landing.
The Federal Aviation Administration has opened an investigation. Amazon has opened a help ticket.
"We are deeply committed to the safety of our operations, our crew members, and the communities we serve," said an Amazon spokesperson in a statement that contained no verbs describing what the company would actually do next. "We are working with all relevant authorities as this situation develops."
The statement did not define "develops."
Passersby near the airport described the scene as chaotic. Gerald Timmons, 54, a logistics consultant who was picking up a rental car nearby, said he heard the impact before he saw anything.
"It was a massive sound," Timmons said. "And then I checked my phone and my humidifier was already out for delivery, so I was confused about the timeline for a second."
Flight data reviewed by aviation analysts showed the aircraft approached the runway within normal parameters before something went wrong in the final moments before touchdown. Investigators say they are examining the plane's braking systems, the crew's actions in the final approach, and what one official described as "the totality of the event chain," which is the aviation equivalent of saying they have no idea yet.
Amazon has operated its own air cargo fleet, known as Amazon Air, since 2016, part of the company's broader effort to remove every human middleman from the delivery process except the ones who occasionally die.
The airline has logged millions of flight hours. Thursday's incident is now the most prominent entry in that record.
Sources familiar with internal Amazon logistics confirmed that the packages aboard the aircraft have been flagged in the system and that affected customers would receive email notifications about their order status. Several customers reported receiving those emails before local news outlets had confirmed the number of fatalities.
The emails did not mention the fatalities.
Dave Pelton, 41, of Doral, said he got a notification at 3:47pm telling him his order of blackout curtains was "experiencing a delay."
"I clicked the link," Pelton said. "It just said weather."
Miami-Dade emergency services responded within minutes. The runway remains closed. Flights are being rerouted to alternate runways, with delays averaging forty minutes, which Amazon's operational dashboard is reportedly listing as within acceptable variance.
The National Transportation Safety Board has deployed a go-team to the scene. Their report is expected within eighteen months.
Amazon's stock was down 0.4 percent at the close of trading.
The story we are making fun of: https://abcnews.com/US/cargo-plane-overruns-runway-miami-international-airport-faa/story?id=136242081