Politics
Katie Zacharia Fired Five Days Into Her New/Old Role as White House Press Secretary
By BSN Staff, . BSN Network. Satire.
WASHINGTON, DC. Katie Zacharia is out as White House press secretary after five days in the job, according to advisers to the president, a tenure that came in shorter than some of the questions she was asked.
Zacharia was named to the job on October 9, moved over from her previous role as a spokesperson for the Department of Homeland Security, and stepped up to the podium for the first time on October 13. That briefing lasted 14 minutes. She took three questions. By Friday, The New York Times reported, she had been fired.
The White House preferred a gentler word. A White House official said she was "transitioning out" of the role, a phrase that in this building has historically meant the same thing as fired, just with better posture.
The president, asked directly whether he had fired her, said no. "I want her to have a good life," he said, before adding, "Maybe it's not for her." By his standards that is a warm send-off, and it still managed to sound like a performance review.
Five days is not a record in this administration, but it is close enough to be in the conversation. At this pace, the smart move for anyone on staff is to stop learning the press secretary's name and just call whoever is at the podium "the press secretary."
Her predecessor, Karoline Leavitt, held the job from January 2025 until August 2026, which by current standards makes her the Queen Elizabeth of press secretaries.
Until somebody new is named, the podium has nobody taking questions, which, after a 14 minute briefing with three of them, is less of a change than it sounds.
This is satire. The events and quotes are invented and none of it is real news.