Politics
Trump Announces Changes That Allow Him to Run in 2028, at the Los Angeles Paralympic Games
By BSN Staff, . BSN Network. Satire.
WASHINGTON, DC. President Trump told supporters on Thursday that he has finally found a way around the two-term limit, announcing that changes made by his legal team now allow him to run in 2028, at the Los Angeles Paralympic Games.
"Everybody said I couldn't run in 2028. Very sad people. Now I can run in 2028, and I will run faster than anybody has ever run," the president said, adjusting a red cap that read TRUMP 2028. "The Constitution says nothing, nothing, about the 400 meters."
Aides described the plan as a breakthrough. One senior adviser said the team had spent months searching the Constitution for a loophole before realizing the word "run" had more than one meaning, and that the president had chosen the one with a medal ceremony.
Paralympic officials responded politely. A spokesperson for the organizing committee noted that Paralympic athletes train for years, that qualification standards are strict, and that no athlete has ever been admitted on the strength of a press conference. "We welcome anyone who meets the standard," she said. "We have watched his golf cart footage, and we do not expect to see him in the final."
Several Team USA athletes were less diplomatic. "He would be lapped by the warm-up," said one sprinter, who asked to be described as "the person who would win."
The White House later clarified that the president does not intend to compete in any specific event, only to win it, and that he expects the gold medal to be delivered to Mar-a-Lago in time for the inauguration.
Legal scholars were unmoved. "You cannot win a third term by running the 100 meters," said one. Asked whether he had read the Paralympic rulebook, the president said he had read it "more than anybody," and that it was "a beautiful book, very long, with pictures."
This is satire. The events and quotes are invented and none of it is real news.