BSN Weekly: Eastern Brown Snake Found Coiled Between Bluey Plushie and Princess Nightlight
Issue of 21 September 2026
What happened last week.
- Absurdity Eastern Brown Snake Found Coiled Between Bluey Plushie and Princess Nightlight
A Queensland snake catcher was called to a young girl's bedroom this week after an eastern brown snake, one of the most venomous animals on earth, was discovered nestled among her stuffed animals. The snake catcher documented the entire removal on video, which he described as "routine," a word he apparently uses to mean something very different from everyone else on the planet.
- Politics Man Sets Record For Worst Election Result, Celebrates By Keeping His Job
Friedrich Merz, the German chancellor whose conservative CDU party just recorded its worst-ever result in a state election, has announced he will be staying on as both chancellor and party leader. Merz described the result as a challenge to be learned from, which is one way to describe the thing you caused.
- Politics Bloomberg Ossoff Profile Gets His Race Wrong at 0:03
Bloomberg Opinion sent columnist Mary Ellen Klas to Athens, Georgia to report on whether Senator Jon Ossoff has what it takes to hold his Senate seat. The piece ran with a glowing headline about a senator proving himself to his constituents. It also misstated his entire political situation before the video finished its opening credits.
- Absurdity Ohio PD Now Has A Hammock Category In Its Deer Rescue Spreadsheet
The Twinsburg Police Department has rescued deer from fences, from traffic, from drainage ditches, and from at least one situation involving a basketball net. Last Tuesday, for the first time in recorded departmental history, they pulled a deer out of a backyard hammock. The category did not previously exist in their system, and what happened when they tried to log it is the part nobody in that precinct is ready to talk about.
- Conspiracy Ingraham Releases Statement Clarifying That Her Cheering Was Actually A Warning
Fox News host Laura Ingraham has issued what her office is calling a "clarifying statement" asserting that her months of enthusiastic on-air support for military action against Iran was, in retrospect, a sustained and sophisticated warning against it. The statement, which runs to four pages and cites three separate segments Ingraham did not air, explains that the words "this is the right call" were intended as a question.
- Conspiracy Chinese Government Orchestrated Your Cousin's Petition About The Data Center
President Trump told Fox News this week that opposition to U.S. data centers is, in his assessment, 'a China PR thing,' a framing experts describe as exaggerated but that raises a more urgent question: how did Beijing get to your cousin first. Investigators are now piecing together a timeline of the petition your cousin circulated about the noise and the heat and what she described as 'just a general bad feeling about the whole project.'
- Politics Xi Jinping Gets State Dinner, America Gets Press Conference About The Vibes
Donald Trump welcomed Chinese President Xi Jinping to the White House Thursday for what officials described as a historic and productive summit covering trade, AI, Taiwan, and Iran. Reporters were informed that the two leaders had excellent chemistry and that the table settings were personally approved by the President.
- Culture Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Tim Cook Had Dinner With Their Boss
President Trump hosted Chinese President Xi Jinping at a state dinner Thursday, and the guest list reads less like a diplomatic event and more like a quarterly review between a very large employer and his American subsidiaries. Bezos, Musk, Cook, Larry Ellison, and roughly two dozen other men who collectively control more of this country than its elected government arrived in formal wear to break bread with the leader of the nation that manufactures everything they sell.
- Politics After Promising Energy Dominance, White House Plan To Fix Diesel Is To Change Its Color
The Trump administration, facing soaring diesel costs, has assembled a list of emergency options that includes suspending the federal fuel tax and, more notably, allowing the sale of a red-dyed diesel normally restricted to tractors and farm equipment. Officials described the package as a serious set of interventions.
- Culture Breitbart Discovers Pope Leo Is a Culture War Columnist With a Better Hat
James Pinkerton of Breitbart News published a column this week crediting Pope Leo XIV with quietly dismantling the French revolutionary left through what Pinkerton described as 'deeply symbolic papal gestures,' a phrase no editor appears to have questioned. The column stops just short of suggesting the Vatican submit an op-ed to the site, though the editorial calendar may still have openings.